Hello friends, supporters, followers:
I have some things I need to share with you all. Most everyone within my circle of friends knows that on March 26, 2013 I lost the love of my life to a fatal grand mal seizure. Shortly before that I developed fainting spells and those have evolved to convulsions. I buried them away so that I could continue working and not let anyone down. With the way my health is going I’m going to have to cut back on my work load. I can only accomplish one project at once. The stress seems to exacerbate my symptoms and it’s hard to slow down. I’m so used to just going full throttle. I want to be the same as I was before my body and my grief changed my life forever. The days are better now my heart is healing. I can talk about my Adam with a smile, don’t get me wrong, sometimes like now the tears fall. I mourn not only for the loss of an amazing partner and friend, but also the loss of the future we would have together. I miss him, I miss our life and I am slowly moving on to the next chapter of my life.
My body however is playing tricks on me. I faint, convulse and have lots of pain from RA. It’s kind of a brutal cycle. I need to get up and be active to maintain my weight and flexibility but if I get up I faint. I don’t want to put this up for pity or for kudos of how well I’m doing. I want to be sure you all understand why I’m slowing down a bit.
My crack team of reviewers has sought other opportunities and I’m left to pick up the slack. I don’t blame them, in fact I respect them all greatly and support them 100%, but that leaves me with stacks of things to do. So with that being said, I’m going “1 day at a time” and working hard to get the things done. I have to say this but it may sound selfish, but I need to tell you that to be the best for you I have to put me first and be the best for me. That means unfortunately, that projects I could push out in days are now taking much longer. I hope that this gives you some insight and will help all in understanding each other better.